Writing Brings Me Close to the Bone
- At October 17, 2022
- By Write in Community
- In Blog
12
Artist shed. Photograph by Chris Carithers
“This is what separates artists from ordinary people: the belief, deep in our hearts, that if we build our castles well enough, somehow the ocean won’t wash them away.” – Anne Lamott
How do I build my castle so part of my story doesn’t go out with the tide? Writing. Writing brings me close to the bone.
Close to the bone.
No other car was in sight, only amber oval circles thrown by my headlights on the wet pavement and, suddenly, my childhood flashed before me. When as a girl of eight overwhelmed with the acidic smell of lemon furniture polish, I found myself in the darkening sanctuary of St. Paul’s Lutheran Church. Yellow light streaming and surrounded by imposing stained glass windows of the Birth, the Crucifixion, Resurrection, I knew I should have felt a great feeling of spiritual reverence, but that wasn’t the way it was. The door had locked behind me. It was just me and Jesus…
This story was hard to write because….well, I am so exposed, vulnerable, mainly just scared. But how do we build our castles, stay faithful to our stories, if part is left out? We know when we share stories, our hearts become bigger and clearer, our love for creativity and the world more intense. Writing brings us close to the bone.
Awakening
I knew by writing I may become illuminated, or perhaps revealed in a new way. “One does not choose one’s subject matter,” commented Gustave Flaubert, “one submits to it.” Writing, creating any art, then, is about doing some thing, not thinking something up. For me, it’s about waking a new part of myself that was hidden or put away. Writing and accepting whatever story resides inside as a slice of my life. Writing brings me close to the bone.
If artists do not share feelings of fear, loss, jealousy and loneliness in stories we write and the art we make, the significance for which we seek may be lost. Acknowledging the presence of deep, stirring feelings as the substance for art helps us be more authentic, faithful to our craft. It’s true, our lives are complex and we may not always want to reveal, but when we do, new depth to our perceptions of family and relationships–self–are offered.
Learn to speak
Delving into the dramas we’ve lived and our roles in them empowers us because we learn how to speak to ourselves in new ways. May be through our characters, paintings and mosaics, we better understand how to navigate this world, and in so doing, we are able to meet it with new insights and truth.
So what about the little girl locked in the church so many years ago? I learned that the answer is often right in front of our eyes. The key to the door was dangling on a string above me. And then—without hesitation—I floated out of the church as if I was levitating. -Becky
Writing/Creativity exercise:
- Leonard Cohen in the song lyrics of Anthem https://www.poetryverse.com/leonard-cohen-poems/anthem eloquently uncovers the paradox of how those parts close to the bone can lead to growth and transformation. On your paper, create three columns with the words Fear, Loss and Disappointment at the top. Under each, generate two or three life experiences that have shaped you. Now go to your artist corner–shed–and let your fingers do the work, create.
- Time to shout about yourself. Choose a movie that you really like and connect it to your own life history. Any time. Think about fragments of the movie that engaged you and then relate that scene or character to an autobiographical part of your life story. What were the movie fragments that led you to yourself? How courage prevails? The power of forgiveness? How loneliness became your friend? Take your time with this. Then create.
For more inspiration, check out our website www.thewritingandcreativelife.com.Or follow this link to purchase our latest book, The Fire Inside.
Margaret Walker
I just read “Writing Close to the Bone”. Those three columns are not an easy task but nonetheless where writing often takes me – totally unplanned. Thank you!
Write in Community
I appreciate your wisdom and insights on this topic of writing about hard things, Margaret. It’s true for me, too. Often a story starts with something that was a change-maker in my life, but what preceded it, I learned, was a challenging experience. I realize now how many stories start from the depth of deep feelings.
Judy Greenwald
Once we’re “invited” to go to places of fear, loss, disappointment, it’s interesting how quickly the thoughts pour in. Grief seems to touch all three and swirls me into those hallowed places that seem so separate from the daily existence. And yet, it is really ever-present if we pay attention, if we let it waft in under the doors we thought we’d closed, with still more to teach.
Thank you for the invitation.
Write in Community
A meaningful life of joy, celebration and, yes, heartache cannot be accomplished by denying parts of our existence. Learning to listen and respond by accepting the “invitation” creates space for healing and wonder to emerge. Thank you, Judy, for your thoughtful comments.
Margaret Walker
As I thought more about this – and read Judy’s comments – I realized how many long forgotten memories “wafted in under the the doors”. Often seemingly small events at the time played a large part in course of my life and the shaping of who I am.
I think these are often the source of the words I did not know were going to appear on the paper.
Write in Community
Over the years, I have not always paid attention to what seems, at the time, like an insignificant experience only later to recognize it was instrumental in changing the course of my day, or even my life. Life gives us many surprises. Thank you for sharing, Margaret.
Rosanne Liesveld
Wow. This spoke to me so personally as I remembered how art (writing) helped shatter that bowl of grief for me. And yes, it was best when it came out of the bones of desperation. Thanks for writing about this deeply personal and powerful topic.
Write in Community
Rose, when we experience deeply felt emotions, writing can help us plumb our depths. It takes much courage and openness to be willing to travel that path. You did. I appreciate your sharing.
Mike Stinson
Thank you for writing this insightful piece, Becky…some real depth here, now to garner the courage to dive!
Write in Community
Mike, I’ve found that once you start writing about hard things, it becomes easier and easier. Giving yourself permission for the first few times takes the most courage.
Barb Highstreet
Love to read what you write Becky… an insight into who you are. Good food for thought. Plus love the photo… know where that came from.
Write in Community
Thank you, Barb, for your comment. It’s true, writing close to the bone reveals and takes you to your core. And the photograph is grand!